[[Cinderella's Moments]]

Thursday, June 30, 2005

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This week is a horrendous week for me.. Its my darkest moment in life and i will not forget it in my life. These incidents changed both Shun's and my life, our attitudes towards life and our focus in life.

My grandma passed away on sun morning at 10+ a.m. Was rather shock when my uncle called me to inform us.. Was stunned. My mother and brother visited her in hospital a day before she left. My mum couldn't accept the fact that she's gone cos she was well and active when they saw her the day before. Its so unpredictable, though we know that she's been ill and have been going in and out of the hospiatal for the past one year, her condition had been in a stable stage.. My family and I rushed back to Msia to attend the wake.. We onli realised that she passed away peacefully when we reached Msia.. She even had a full breakfast before she went for nap on Sun morning.. and the next moment she's gone.. forever gone.. Hearing that, we felt relieved. At least we knew that she passes away without worries and stuff.

I came back to Spore on sun nite cos my brother is having his test on mon. I accompanied him back and went back to Msia on Mon afternoon.

Something terribly bad happened again.. Shun's elder brother passed away in a traffic accident on Mon nite.. I'm devasted, i broke down.. How could this thing happened to someone ard me???? WHY? WHY? He's still a promising young man with ambitions and aspirations.. Why would God take away a 24 year old man just like that?? Shun was terrible sad and i knew that he needed me most then. But i can't be by his side when he needed me most.. I broke down when i received his msg.. His words pierced right into my heart. he really need me and yet i'm not there for him.. I'm feel really helpless and useless.. Its not that i do not want to be with him. It just that i can't.. even after i came back to spore, i cant attend his bro's wake, i can't even see Shun for seven days. You know, its the traditions and beliefs.. cos i will still be in the mourning stage so i can't attend any wake or wedding for the next 49 days.. i really can't explain my feelings then. I cried and cried feeling so helpess.. I'm his girlfriend and yet i can't be by his side when he is at the lowest point in his life. and at that moment, Shun couldn't accept the fact that i can't be by his side.. He replied me that he dun mind the clash thingy and all he wan is me by his side.. i really dun noe wat to do.. I'm sandwiched between him and my parents.. Lucky for me that Rouxin managed to help me.. I called her in my crying tone and told her abt my problems.. She understands fully and she told me that i can't attend Shun's bro wake at all cos it won't be good for me, for my grandma, for Shun's brother as well as all those involved. I knew it but Shun dun understand.. cos he dun believe in all these type of stuff.. It took him quite some time to understand and accept the fact.. hiaz.. Y is god doing all these things to us.. Hiaz..

After all these things, Shun and i realised the importance of our families. I promised him that i'll love him more than ever and we'll try to go out lesser and accompany his mum more.. His mum had already lost a son and we really hope tha she will feel better with Shun's company.. I'll try my best to visit his house more often (though i onli can do it after 49 days.. so sad..) and try to talk to his mum more often.. We've learnt to be more family focus and we have to be responsible for every actions that we do, every little things we do affect our family.. I realli hope his mum and family will be able to overcome it soon..

[[Last Wrote]]*|7:41 PM|

Saturday, June 25, 2005

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Lazy me is here to post again.. Nth much for today.. hahahaha.. had a rather slacking day today.. went to work till 2 noon then "ta bao" my lunch back home and watched TV all the way till 5++ before i went over to my dreamland for yet another 2 hrs.. hahahaha.. Wonder y i'm at home on tis wonderful sat?? cos somebody is attending the NDP rehearsel and tts y i'm left at home.. Nvr mind, i enjoyed watching tv today.. simply luv the japanese drama on Channel U today.. the drama abt how a young lady directed her broadcast team.. very nice..

I actually started prefering not going out on weekends cos the streets will be filled with people and vehicles. The sight of it sort of diminish my mood to shop.. hahaha.. erhm.. maybe this thoughts will not last long.. (cos i hav the chance to do shopping on weekdays now and shun usually having his off days on weekdays.. but i doubt i can go shopping on weekdays once sch starts, cos projs will be piling up.. hiaz..)

[[Last Wrote]]*|10:49 PM|

Friday, June 24, 2005

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hey yo... Had been MIA-ing for nearly two months.. Initially thought of stopped writting for this blog but couldn't resist the temptation to write again after almost 2 mths.. There's quite a lot of happenings in the past 2 mths.. lots of things to blog abt.. shall proceed blogging one by one then.. hee hee~~

~~ HaPpy 1sT bdaY, My bLog~~

Firstly, my blog is one year old.. hahahaha.. Happy 1st bday, my blog.. Remembered that i started this blog for the sake of Shun.. cos he was going in to NS and i'm quite at a lost at that time and hence i starting sprouting nonsense on this blog.. (erhm.. actually not sprouting nonsense.. is writing down my thoughts and feelings..) Looking back at all the previous post, i realised that blogging indeed is a very wonderful way of expressing thoughts and emotions.. hahaha.. and it serves as very good momento.. I believe my motive of blogging as changed over the 1 yr. Started off as a communication mode with Shun so that he would know what i'm doing while he is in army but now, i think i blog more for my personal interest.. I wanna record down bits and pieces of my life and when i'm older, while looking back at all the previous post, i will be able to bring back all the wonderful memories that i once had..

~~ BidDiNg fOr cOurSeS~~

I'm superb stressed up over this one whole week and its bcos of the stupid BOSS system that SMU has.. hiaz.. SMU-ers are supposed to bid for the modules that they wanna take using tis BOSS system and we are given a certain amt of e -dollars to bid.. I had such a hard time deciding the course and time slot that i wanna bid.. Afterwhich, the biggest headache is how much i'm gonna bid... Aiyo.. Hav to take into account the demand and past history (basically its like in the real economy situation) and i think depends on luck too.. hahaha.. pray hard that i got all the courses that i've chosen.. I'm taking International Economics, Managing People at Work, Computer As an Analysis Tool, Bahasa Melayu 1 and my pre-assigned course Finishing Touch..

~~ Advanced Driving Theory Test~~

I mentioned in my previous course that i will be taking my advanced theory test rite? I failed that test.. so sad.. was a bit disappointed though cos i believed that i put in much more efforts as compared to my basic theory.. at least i bother to get the sort of ten years series for advanced theory and go thru the whole book.. hiaz..

But i retook the test and i passed.. yeah.. hahaha.. For my retaking test, i used the new system.. the computerised system.. erhm.. a bit sucky.. hahaha.. cos u are using ur fingers to point against the screen to choose ur ans.. lucky that i cut my nails not long b4 the test so its easier to press against the screen.. hahaha (those who noe me well will noe that i'm too lazy to cut my nails and so i'm usually spotted with long nails.. hahaha) the not so good experience was that once u pressed against the screen, sometimes u hav to wait a while b4 the screen show u the next qns.. kind of having slow reaction time.. so stupid.. hahaha.. I was so meticulous while doing the test.. The guy sitting next to me finished the test in abt 15 mins without checking thru the ans but he failed in the end.. hahaha.. looking at that guy really scared me.. i dun wanna fail again if not i will have to wait for another mth to retake.. so once i clicked the finished button, i'm so scared.. the next moment the screen appeared with the word "Passed"... so happy.. hahahaha.. i'm on my way to start learning my practical.. hopefully i'll be able to get my license before the second half of next yr?? hahahaa.. giving myself a yr time... hahaha.. pray for me.. for the time being, i need to work work work cos i need $$ for the driving lesson.. i'm NOT sponsored k.. hiaz..

~~ Johnny~~

Congrats guy, u got ur taiwan driving lesson in less than 6 mths ah.. hahaha.. and its cheaper too rite? so good.. u just hav to convert it once u are back in spore.. hey, look forward to seeing u next week.. cya then..

~~ Congrats to my friend for finding ur true love~~

Was kind of surprise to see ur status row in friendster to change from single to In a relationship.. hahaha.. tts fast man.. hahaha.. really congrats.. u really go all the way to get her man.. I'm really happy for u man.. tell me more abt the story once u booked out k.. May u and ur girl be blessed with happiness always..

to all those who hav someone in mind yet dun hav the courage to show him/her ur love: be brave and u will find ur happiness coming ur way.. jia you..

~~ My uNcLe's WeDdIng ~~

Yes, my uncle just got married tis mth.. Was really happy for him and i'll be expecting a niece/nephew this yr end.. hee hee~~ *wink*... u noe, it will be my first "tang di/tang mei" meaning niece or nephew that shares the same surname as me... whahhaha.. and my niece and nephew will be like 21 years younger than me.. OMG.. hahaha.. generation gap..

So glad that my uncle finally ends his bachelor's life after 43 years... yes, he's 43 this yr man.. kind of old, but at least he started his family.. Frankly speaking, i thought he will be single all his life bcos he has a rather reserved character. My mum tried introducing gf for him in the earlire yrs but to no avail, partly bcos he's not bold enough to make a move.. but i'm really glad for him tt he finally found his true love and i wish them "xin fu mei man"..

Pics to share..

-to be uploaded soon.. and i mean real soon..-

[[Last Wrote]]*|11:10 AM|